When I was small, my parents were busy and also did not know much about communicating with children. I think a lot of parents are like that. Communicating with a child is, in fact, one of the great mysteries of human life; we know very little about how it actually works. We have many theories and make plans based on those theories, but it’s like Mike Tyson said. “Everyone has a plan until they’re punched in the face.” As I grew up, I spent much time thinking about how I could avoid the faith of my parents, if I myself ended up having children one day. Also, to understand more generally, how can we best get along with kids in a mutually meaningful way. One day about a decade ago, those thoughts took the shape of 14 thoughts that I wrote down.
- Don’t use threats or bribery
- Emphasize eye contact
- Explain “yes” and “no” through something the child understands
- Emphasize that you like to spend time with the child
- Don’t repeat the same things (find new ways to say the same thing)
- Remember that there is way too much stimuli for a child in the modern world
- Remember that the child has to adapt to the world, nobody is asking if he/she wants to
- Remember that nobody (NOBODY!) actually understands the child, and they know it better than everyone else
- Never, under any circumstance, lose your temper
- Establish a joint mission
- Remember that the child only wants to be happy and enjoy life
- Don’t try to program children, they are human, not computers
- Lead through example, not through commands
- Don’t sweat the small stuff and choose your battles well
